Tim Ferguson Interview (DAAS: Near Death Experience, MICF 2016)

Welcome back to Impulse Gamer Tim and of course the 2016 Melbourne International Comedy Festival! What do you think of all these musicals based on films like Ghost?

Oh my god, there’s nothing that they won’t turn into a musical and we’ll be a musical next! We nearly did Pink Floyd’s The Wall as a musical once but it’s just so slow… “Mother do you think they’ll drop the bomb?” … everyone just stands around “Mother do you think they’ll like this song”?” … it just wouldn’t work and would be boring as cold shit.

So Tim, in your many years of comedy, you’ve touched upon various subjects, so why did you guys bring death to the forefront this time?

That’s because we’re all about to die and there’s no point pretending that anything else is going on. You’re in gaming and people spend most of their leisure time killing people, blowing them up, shooting aliens and blasting space ships out of the sky… death is everywhere and it’s the most entertaining thing. Think of the movies that you and I like? We go and see The Avengers… WHY? To see a whole bunch of aliens get killed.

Of course, the Doug Anthony All Stars are in our mid-90’s now and we’re older than Bernie Sanders… he’s that old man who’s going to be the next president of the United States. We’ve always talked about death. I mean death and sex are always the most interesting comic topics which is the difference between cats and dogs.

Who came up with the idea of the Near Death Experience show?

GOD! God came up with the idea that people only last for so long and also it’s a product of differentiation. What’s different about us that make us different to every other comedian in the Melbourne Comedy Festival? It’s the fact that we’re a lot older than all the people at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. So we thought, let’s confront it head on and turn it into a bonus for us. Also, there is no one at any other festival in the world is doing the material that we’re doing… again. So this is just making ourselves original… again.

What’s it like dusting off the two Pauls again for another year of the Doug Anthony All Stars?

I keep the dust on them! Also, they’re scared of feathers so I can’t use a feather duster and I’m not going to use a vacuum because somehow they’ll misuse it. So yeah, I keep them covered in dust but seriously, they are both geniuses. They make it easier going out on stage and I’m the good looking one so I make sure everyone’s eye candy is filled. I mean they are both hilarious geniuses but they’re also not easy people. They are the famous comic minds of their generation!

Last year at Yarraville and I’ll break your code of what happens in Yarraville stays in Yarraville, you talked about your history as the Doug Anthony All Stars, so what can Melbourne expect this year?

We have a whole bunch of new songs that are morally challenging and funny but they’re not like pop songs. We’re also making jokes about me because I’m in a wheelchair and there’s a lot of funny stuff to be found in my dealing with MS like the pharmaceuticals that I have to take to survive MS. There’s also a song “What’s wrong with Tim’s Brain?” and the show is short and sweet but I think it’s sad but everyone else thinks it’s hilarious.

You brought up your MS last year and I did notice some uncomfortable laughter coming from a few of the audience members… what advice would you give them this year?

Toughen the fuck up! They’re uncomfortable? People say that oh god, I’m sorry that you have MS and I’m like, I didn’t get it from them and it’s not like herpes. MS happens to be the thing I deal with and it’s none of their damn business. It’s there for me to poke fun at because like anything that’s not fun, MS hates being mocked. It’s like right wing politicians and the one thing that they can’t cope with is being laughed at, so I laugh at MS and it really gives it the shits. So if people want to feel forlorn over my condition, maybe they should look at their own haircuts more often.

What are you most looking forward to at performing in Melbourne again?

The main thing is to reconnect with the Melbourne audience and to show our new ideas in terms of how to live their lives, what to wear and also to hurry up with their lives. Time is short and youth is wasted on the young because they can piss it away like we did. It’s getting people to hurry up with their lives and give Melbourne a shake by grabbing the comedy festival by the throat. Did you know that the comedy festival has banned us from the gala?

What do you mean banned you from the gala?

So like you’ve been banned from a night club, we’ve been banned from performing at the gala and THAT is credibility. Everyone else is cued up around the block, whining, begging and saying “please I’ll blow you, I will do anything” and we got a phone call saying you are not allowed to perform this material at the gala. So that’s credibility and that’s what makes us different.

Last year you gave us some advice for younger comedians that they shouldn’t hang around other comedians because they either want to fuck you or kill you… what other words of advice can you give them this year?

Easy! Look at everybody else and do something that nobody else is doing. There’s no point in being a 20-something guy in a flannelette shirt and talk about smoking bongs because everybody else is doing it. So pick the gap and prosecute! There’s no other act on Earth like the Doug Anthony All Stars which doesn’t mean we’re better but it means that we’re not like anyone else and every comedian has to find that.

Also if you always wanted to be a comedian, get out of it because it doesn’t work that way as comedy chooses you. You don’t choose comedy and to save yourself a decade, read my book, The Cheeky Monkey. It will stop you from bumping into walls and being laughed at but it will show you how to run into a wall with hilarious laughter!

Before you go Tim, can you tell us about your new feature film Spin Out that you co-wrote and co-directed?

It’s about a Bachelor Spinster Ball in the country and a Ute muster! We have hundreds of utes doing spinouts, young people falling in love, falling out of love and getting laid. It’s very much an Australian comedy.

What inspired you to write Spin Out Tim?

I grew up in the bush and we done this for fun, circle work which is what they called it. The sport of going around and around in circles. So when I went to the Deniliquin Ute Muster, I thought there is a bigger story here with all these great characters and we’re the only people in the world who drive in circles very fast and gives ourselves praises.