DVD Reviews: Cradle of Fear

Cradle of Fear… The worst movie in all existence and I’ve seen “A Space Travesty” with Leslie Neilson.  There’s your A grade movies like Gladiator then you’ve got the B graders like Tales From the Crypt Demon Knight but this movie doesn’t even fall under the classification of B grade as it’s somewhere near the end, it’s more like X grade for Xtra crappy.   

The movie based around a man named Kemper who was a serial murderer for near on 25 years by hypnotizing people. This guy is basically the incarnation of evil.  His son known only as “The Man” is receiving messages from his old man who’s in jail now.  “The Man” is picking up where his old man left off by killing the remaining jurors who put Kemper in jail.  A man who’s lost his leg only to steal another from some druggo, leg goes psycho and that the end of him.   The sexy chick who gets knocked up by “The Man” and some freaky baby thing pops out the next day and kills her and her friend.  The son of the detective that put him there ends up in a shed with cameras for interactive internet freaks who wish to abuse people.  And another bird who steals from an old guy and he comes back to life to get her. These are the riveting tales behind this storyline. 

At the beginning of the movie “The Man” is walking down the street just attacking people for the hell of it, two men try to attack him the first getting his throat ripped open and the other gets his head ripped open and then stomped on.  If you’ve ever seen one of those movies that are funny because they’re so bad this isn’t one of them it’s just plain bad.  Funny for the first 15 minutes, then absolute torture.  Two hours later it’s finally over, this is two hours of my life I’m NEVER getting back, the thought of all the other important things I could have been doing races through your mind “That was an unbelievably dodgy movie”.  How on earth did anybody get funding for such a movie, it shouldn’t even have made it to VHS let alone DVD. 

The quality of the DVD is shockingly bad; blue outlines surround all of the “special” effects, the black in the title aliases all the time and MPEG artifacts are predominant throughout..  And as for the sound effects, there was no real thought put into it, none at all I think they just bought a free shareware CD and used the same five sounds over and over.  The only reason this movie is going to get any form of score was the hot chick and the start, I would have given the movie a 0 if she didn’t get her gear off. 

1/10 avoid at all costs, even if you're after a movie to just laugh at this isn’t it.