Piranha DD 

Okay let’s have a look at Piranha DD, a wartime costume drama about the dichotomy of the human condition… But seriously, you wouldn’t expect anything highbrow from a movie called Piranha DD (that’s double-D) would you?  

You don’t care about the premise, and nor should you. It is what it is in all B-Grade monster movies: An excuse. In this case, an excuse for some demonic fish to chomp their way through a bunch of unsuspecting swimmers. It’s also an excuse for more than a few moments of softcore porn. The fish themselves actually get in on this as well, by invading or biting off just about every part of the anatomy that you can think of.

I mean, B-grade monster movies aren’t exactly known for their intellectual qualities, but this one makes Anaconda look like Schindler’s List by comparison.

So it’s dumb. It’s dumb, it’s noisy, it’s colourful, and it’s gory. On the plus side, the fish effects look pretty good, and the carnage is suitably over-the-top, with gouts of blood flying into the air when someone gets beheaded by an airborne piranha. 

The movie is at its most enjoyable towards the end, when it drops all pretensions of having a plot and turns into a full-on comedy. The problem is, it tries to be too serious for too much of the running time. And I don’t mean that in the sense that it has a mature message, but more that it tries to deliver an actual story… there’s some guff about a corrupt policeman who’s siphoning funds out of the local water park, for example. How about less of that, and more of the Hoff making a pill out of himself, and more piranhas exploding out of water filters? 

It’s an experience that delivers what it promises: Gore, nudity and toilet humour. David Hasselhoff cameos as a lifeguard, and Christopher Lloyd plays a mad scientist. As expected. Some fish eat some people, and then the music plays. Again, as expected. Who cares if the plot has more holes than a crumpet, or if everyone in it has the acting range of a cabbage?

Special Features:

Big Dave’s bong

Big Dave and the jet

Big Dave and the pump 

These are just as bad they sound. During the credits, there are some extra scenes and outtakes as well.  

Closing comments:

Don’t read too much into the score above; you might actually enjoy this movie, if you watch it in the right frame of mind. If you liked the first Piranha, give this one a go. Just be prepared to sacrifice a few brain cells in the process.