The Zebra-Man! Review
Summary: "The Zebra-Man!" defies summary, and to an extent, review. I'm still trying to wrap my head around what in the world is going on with this game.
3
...what the heck was that?
Usually I have some kind of paragraph that leads into my review, talking about the context behind a game or its genre, or even a game’s predecessor, or in the case of a remastered game, the original version thereof. But I am writing this having just finished The Zebra-Man! [sic], a game which, I’ll be honest, defies review. Visually it takes its cues from Hotline Miami more than other games of its genre, including being really blooming confusing as such I’m still trying to process what it is exactly I have just played.
Notline Miami.
As before stated, the game’s main inspo seems to be Hotline Miami – though it also takes a lot of cues from pulp slasher movies and such in its presentation, having a nicely-animated intro cutscene by The Frikanih and a (actually quite good) soundtrack by indie artist lokaweed. There are also some 2D bits, as well as a single segment that’s in 3D, though in these segments nothing really happens. As for the plotline, you are a killer known as The Zebra-Man. Killing ensues, as does… a whole lot of other things. The first level is a straight hotline Miami clone, although there’s only one weapon and it’s in black and white for some reason. You’re rescued by a mysterious benefactor, you murder your way out of the facility you’re being held in, not really that much else to say. The second level sees you playing as a weirdly loquacious young lad as he goes about his morning, eating breakfast, watering the plants, feeding his dog and brushing his teeth. On his paper round, he witnesses a car crash and, moment later, gets abducted by some Spanish-speaking street thugs, only to be not only rescued by a gynoid (who on her very short to protect the young lad is catcalled by no less than 4 people) but be completely unfazed by the whole thing.
The Zebra-man murders a racist priest who is implied to have done nasty things to children (how original!) before being tasked with killing the kid from Chapter 2 – and getting to him by clipping out of the world and into his house for some reason. From there, all nonsensical hell breaks loose. The game becomes a total mess of tangled plotlines that go nowhere and that jumps around more than Spring Mario and occasionally very peurile and self-referential humour. Overall though, the focus shifts from the title character to The Raccoon, the guide who broke ol’ Zeeby out of prison, and who was apparently trapped in the game for unknown reasons and wants to break the game’s scripted events in order to escape.
Another day in Inferno.
When I say the game’s humour is peurile by the way, I really do mean it. Your very first action in the game is to take a dump, with appropriate SFX. At least two characters catch themselves before saying the N-word, two dead bodies are holding hands and the detective who’s investigating them is more concerned that they might have been “f*gs” [sic], tyhe same detective mocks another (pants-less) dead body on account of the paltry size of its manly bits… It’s as if the developers WANT me to say that it’s what might have happened if 00s-era 4Chan made Hotline Miami. What I’m actually going to say is that it feels like a teenage 4Channer from Spain decided to make Hotline Miami and fill it with references and “edgy” humour. Speaking of humour, occasionally when something janky happens the game will go “Oh look, it’s janky!” and there are pop culture references sprinkled in there where they don’t necessarily have a place – including verbatim uses of famous sound effects, such as the Yoda scream from LEGO Star Wars, the portal sound from Crash Bandicoot and the “Daaaaaayum!” sound effect from the movie Friday.
The result… is not strictly speaking bad or good. It transcends such mortal descriptors such that it’s best described with one word: “What?!” The game takes about an hour and a half to beat in its entirety, though if you kill every enemy and perform every optional side action you unlock one final cutscene, which for the record, raises more questions than it answers, not that it answers many questions at all.
Yes you do.
Put simply, The Zebra-Man! is probably best described using words I dare not use in what’s supposed to be a semi-serious review. It is distilled madness in game form. If I tried to describe it as part-Hotline Miami, part something else there’d likely be a whole list of potential parts I could use. It starts off as a straight Hotline Miami clone, but it also takes inspiration from lowbudget pulp slasher movies, then it starts becoming more story-driven, then it starts breaking the fourth wall, then there’s memes, then it’s being self-referential… Suffice it to say, I will remember this game, not for being particularly good or even particularly bad, but just for being… completely inexplicable.
About the Author
Edward Gosling Ed has been playing games since he was in primary school, and now has a Steam library of over 2000 games, only a fraction of which he has actually played!
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